should i just blog each time i think of u?

if i were to do that, i guess im just spamming my own blog.... +__+"

im not getting any younger... so are u... why are we like this??? can i ever get over u? or just gonna be feeling this way for the rest of my life? i dun want this to end just like this, without even trying it out.

what will happen to me if u were to get married one day? are we still gonna be continue having this fb relationship? i know then it wont be fair to ur wife. what can i do then? will anyone still want me then? or will i ever fall in love again with someone else?

im just digging myself deeper in u... now is so deep until i dunno how to stop digging... even thou u told me on our last metup that u dun wanna hurt me by saying u dun have that feeling for me... so what feeling do u actually have for me?

i asked u, do u ever feel u will fall for me again... u said dunno. does tat means i still stand another chance? or... im just living in denial... i know, i just refused to face the reality whereas my reality is tat i truly love u... will u love me as much as i love u? will i ever have the chance of u loving me again?

still remember the time i was at your place, i was revising in the living room in the evening, just by u having ur hand on my lap encouraging me to jia you, feels so nice and warmth. with u around, i can do anything without fail. u give me the strength to carry on.... how can i lose this support from u? what will happen to me? i really dunno how to carry on... who will carry me on?

i also want u to find ur happiness which i know ur happiness isnt with me, but to be with 'moon'. u're still waiting for her, and like wise she is for u. u're both just living apart now, i believe if u guys have the love for each other, u will both overcome the obstacles together. u said that u dun see it possible but i know u're just hoping it will. just like im hoping that we both will.

will u ever know how i feel about u all these while? i mean truly understand from my side. im just a girl... i've done over that i know... i've written to u how i felt, saying to ignore my letters and card to remain as we are fb now. all cos i dun wanna lose u. only by torturing myself this way enable me to see u.... at times i can feel like a big cut is forming in my heart, it is just getting deeper and deeper each time we meet. i dunno when will it be a day when it just becomes half.

will u be touched when u see the gift i got for u for bday? will u realy consider making my xmas wish come true by gg on a trip with me? a real trip and not just those 2days 1night kind? will u???? i really want to see ur reactions, please call me out tonight. i dun wanna come back to office to take the gift tmr if u plan to meet me. the trouble i had to go thru for this gift... the agony of waiting for the gif to be safely delivered from one destination to another, and finally to my office. and now it has become the agony of waiting for u dear reply. have u ever experience this before and know how that felt? do u wait for 'moon's reply' like i been waiting for ur reply all these years?

do u have other fb as well, other then me? i really hope not... if not i really think im just a spare tyre when ur main fb cant make it, u will call me as a replacement. but even being a spare tyre, i know i dun mind.... so long i get to spend those special moments with u. it might not be special to u, but that's what keeps me going till now since the first time we both started!

i guess u will be ignoring me today again... is really upsetting. for a girl to be the one keep asking the guy out... even i see myself no where near u... just when u need me u will call me. i wish u can change this and let me have a place in ur heart somewhere... small i dun mind... just a place where u will remember not just when u need a fb.

should i send u another text again later on... another 2 hrs before i off work, will u find me nuisance... so many messages??? actually i feel most of the time i just sending and replying on my own... are u really that busy? but u have time for others... i really just dun want to believe it myself on the way u're treating me. really... please dun let me believe it!!!! why cant i fight for my own happiness??? why did u say u dun wanna give me the wrong impression??? why cant u learn to love me? so many whys........... i just want to know why... is loving me so difficult for u? i asked u if u have anyone in mind, u said no... why david? cant u just tell me why?