it has always been u all these years...

the feeling and the urge to see you is getting so much stronger now, is it that we have met up too often for the last few weeks... why do you keep reminding me that im married... and how in the world would i reject you the last time when u were back...

its been 13 years and all these waiting... why now... why.... is so difficult to let you go... i tried deleting all the pics of you, even wanted to erase your contact but all those are not working... why am i hurting myself all over again?

ain't im suppose to be happily married! why... tomorrow is the only time which i can clarify what i want to know... im just lying to myself... i have to face the facts! im making myself believe there is still a chance after 13 years...

what happens when there is no love in the marriage... what should i do? why can't there be a restart button! or a time machine! make things different from now!

i am sad and not any happy... only you can! when u look into my eyes, i always wanna melt in your arms... only you!!!!! if only you know how i feel all these years.... it hurts so bad!