off he went...

he is on his way to the airport now... i couldnt help it and drop a few tears... im still worried and scared... my heart feels soft and vulnerable...

does he sounds excited going back to shanghai? should i have just follow along? this is driving me nuts... am i being too forgiving to give him another chance too soon? will he treasure this? or.... i've seen too many men.... and they are all the same, i thought he was an exception but i was so damn wrong...

i did a very silly thing today... i went to make 2 lugguage tags, one is put our names and the other, i put my future daughter's name... so silly... oh well, just feel like doing it, in case i stop flying there... am i ready for a baby? will i be able to bring him/her up well? will my financial be more stable? what has god planned for me?

he promise and swear to be good... can i trust? didnt he told me the same thing too the last time that he will be good... should i do wat he had done to me, so he can understand how it feels deep inside?

what is happening? i know it won't be right... i really wanna just get it back on him tat badly... but really... will he behave? will he think back on how good or how nice it was when with tat gal?