is this real?

am i giving him too much stress and pressure now? why am i feeling it that way?

was i having a bad dream? that all these are not real? its been a week since i had found out abt the affair... how long will i take to forget? or won't i forget?

my heart sunk whenever i hear your voice on the phone... awaiting to hear what the background sound... why am i getting so paranoid.... i want my normal life back!!!

u'll be back tmr, and heading to shanghai again.... can i really let myself be strong and not think otherwise.... so what if u're there with a colleague, but u went astray when u were with him too!!! your foolishness had caused me to be in this kind of state.... am i able to let it go!

i really feel that i will go nuts over this matter... will i fall into depression? or have i already fallen? i felt like im a double person... when im at work i put on the work mask, when im at home.... i feel that is more me... what is happening to me!!! is god hearing my cries???

whenever i close my eyes i can picture them together... was it wrong for me to find out how detailed the affair was? am i hurting myself even more this way? i thought i could find closure, but why issit it working?